The fruit of a hidden life
It seems to be so easy to grow in faith when you can meet with a prayer group on a weekly basis, where you can encourage each other and serve together, right? The joy of fellowship and community is so strong that it often draws the attention of non-believers too. We don't realise how the life of community speaks about God’s love and shows His presence among us. I once had a friend who came to be part of a Catholic community as a result of the joy they felt flowing from it, with God at its source.
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them” (Mt 18;20)
It seems, however, that these days community looks very different for many of us... Real life gatherings have changed to online meetings…with which at least we can improve our IT skills! From ministry and community prayers, to sharing worship nights, our focus has shifted to a different area of our spiritual life for some time now. Solitude, personal prayer, spiritual reading, fasting, and other practices have became somehow more frequent. And this is great!
SPIRITUAL INTEGRITY
When in community, we may do certain things because they are easier done together. This includes very basic habits and/or duties of the Christian life like prayer, Adoration, Holy Mass etc. It is much easier when we can do these practises as a group of friends, where we can support each other.
C.S. Lewis said that “Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.”
This applies to our spiritual life also. Without community we are called to fight for our spiritual integrity and commit to prayer and other practices not because it's fun to do with others but because it is right and good and pleasing to God and because we love the One we meet in prayer. Perhaps I only need to encourage and remind myself where my heart is and Who it is that is holding it. We need to remember why we began this journey with Jesus months, years, decades ago....Doing all the things when no one is watching is really us saying: “God, I love you!”
WHAT IS HIDDEN
Some of us are called to great things, some of us are called to small things, but all must be done with love. Love grows in a hidden place within our own hearts. Love grows when God alone grows within us and He grows when we let Him in.
By prayer and cultivation of my own personal relationship with Jesus He becomes more and I become less (Jn 3:30). And this is a process that happens inside of our hearts when no one is looking. Life in community is a reflection of this inner life, life with Jesus alone. And this is what truly matters. Your hidden life with Jesus matters. Look at Joseph and Mary. We know very little about their life in Nazareth and much of St. Joseph's life is totally hidden from us but not it's fruit! Our inner spiritual life can bear fruit too!! Like people who do not see the hard work of a gardener yet they love the sweet taste of strawberries.
Each sign of the cross, each thought of God, each little offering, even the smallest one...matters. Are you striving to prayer better but after each decade of the Rosary you realise that the reciting of Hail Mary feels like learning a poem for a primary school performance? Yes, I know, but let me remind you (and myself) that it is neither perfection, nor feelings but our intention and love that makes prayer pleasing to God. Our perseverance melts the Father's heart and makes our prayers, actions and life fruitful. As the Psalms says:
“...their delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law they meditate day and night. They are like trees planted by streams of water which yield their fruit in its season...“ (Psalm 1;2-3).
DO YOU LOVE ME?
John Nouwen said: “Life is just a little opportunity for you during a few years to say to God: ´I love you´”. I sometimes ask myself this question: “Do I love you, Lord?” Maybe you ask the very same question. Maybe you are wondering how can you say if you love Him or not...Well, try to remember this:
Each time you kneel down to pray even when you don't feel like, this says: I love you!
Each time you watch mass at home when others do not see you, this says: I love you!
Each time you fast and offer God your little sacrifices without boasting about it, this says: I love you!
Each time you try to connect with God even when it feels like He is far far away and cannot hear you, this says: I love you!
Each time you tell God: “I love you” says… “I love you!”
We can practice loving God and step by step we grow the strawberries in our hearts! Grow the fruit that is worthy of sharing and with this, feed the hungry. The world may not see the hard work, effort and time you’ve put in building this intimate relationship. They will only see its fruit. And that is enough because that is what makes each soul alive. That is what the world needs: everyday holiness built on ordinary acts of love towards God which then bears fruit of love towards our neighbour.
Let us ask God to awaken our hearts again. Maybe you're tired and weary about everything that is or is not going on around you. Little steps can make a big difference. Tell your heart that it is OK to be tired and that all its offerings and cries are seen and heard. Do not give up by thinking that it doesn't matter anymore. Breathe in and breathe out and remember that it is God who gives you this breath and He hasn't finished with you yet!