In the shoes of Doubting Thomas
For the last few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about the story of the risen Jesus revealing Himself to His disciples and particularly to St Thomas. I suppose we all know the story of St Thomas who after Jesus’ Resurrection was not willing to believe what the other disciples were saying, rather, he wanted to see with his own eyes in order to believe. I remember as a child seeing this story and St Thomas in a negative light.
How can I look at this story now with a different lens? Focusing on the good that came from St Thomas’s doubting Jesus ...
Do not get me wrong. I am not offering a Bible commentary or explanation of this passage but rather, my thoughts on this story of St Thomas and some ideas of how it relates to our own lives.
WHEN THOMAS SAW JESUS
He was the one who did not believe, he was the one doubting, he was the one gently rebuked for not having faith... On the other hand, he was the one who touched the wounds of Jesus! Moreover, did you know that the first person in the Gospels to give Jesus the name of God was none other than but St. Thomas himself?
“Thomas answered him, My Lord and my God.” (Jn 20;28)
Thomas wanted to see Jesus and Jesus granted this desire. He allowed Thomas not only to see him but also to touch his scars and wounds caused by crucifixion. Jesus gave and revealed to Thomas more than he could have hoped for and what is more – Jesus also healed his doubts.
After this had happened, Jesus gently reminded his disciples that those who believe without having seen are blessed. (Cf Jn 20; 29) And surely all such people really are truly blessed. On the other hand, Jesus did not say that it was wrong of Thomas for wanting to see Him. There were also others who believed only after seeing Jesus, like the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. And Jesus was not disappointed or upset with this. He rejoiced with them because they saw Him and believed.
MY NAME IS THOMAS
There are people with great faith who trust God without the slightest doubt or need for His manifestation. Theirs is the beatification that Jesus spoke about when He said:
“Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” (Jn 20; 29)
Yet, let's face it - who of us can say that we possess this kind of blind faith all of the time? We can all recall at least one situation in our lives when we wanted to see that God was present, that God heard our prayer, that He did not forget about our cause. We wanted reassurance, we wanted a sign....and we continue to want it. The truth is that our faith is imperfect. And I dare say that Jesus is counting on our imperfect faith. My weakness does not hold Him back. He himself says in the Gospel of Luke:
“Look at my hands and my feet; see that it is I myself. Touch me and see; for a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” (Lk 24; 39)
And at a different place we read: “O taste and see that the Lord is good”, (Psalm 34;8) … God’s word tells us to taste and see. There is no shame in wanting to see God working in our lives. He alone encourages us to ‘touch and see’ and this requires presence. Just like Thomas who had to be present to be able to see Jesus (logically), in order for us to see the Lord moving in our lives, we must be present too. Present and attentive in our relationship with Him. Only then we will be able to see Him working. If our faith is only as small as a mustard seed, let us not be discouraged because we can safely ask Jesus to show up for us. Sometimes He does and sometimes He doesn't. Both can straighten our faith. Remember that God wants all people to believe and He desires us all to be present with Him.
Please note that my intent is not to say that without any visible sign we should not believe and that we should request a sign every single time. That is not my point. I mean to imply that our imperfect and small faith is not an obstacle for God, with it He can create something even more beautiful, only He knows what this looks like.
JESUS IN MY NEIGHBOUR
I believe there is a slight analogy here with our everyday lives. The same way Jesus revealed His wounds to the apostles, we too can find ourselves exposed to the wounds of those around us. Moreover, we can take into account the unspoken words of “touch and see”. In the 21st century, everyone is crying out for some kind of healing. Oftentimes, if we are attentive enough, we can notice the small signs others give that show they are wounded and in need of healing. Think about that for a minute. How many wounded people are there around you? ...
The answer is everyone! Everyone is wounded in some way or another. The more I realise this, the more I see others, myself included, in a totally different light. The question remains - how am I to respond?
Am I willing to look at those wounds and brokenness that exist within myself and within others? Am I willing to ‘touch the wounds’ of my brother or sister? We cannot fully understand the healing that is involved for people just by us ‘seeing’ their wounds.
The same way St Thomas was present when Jesus showed him His wounds, we too need to be present in our relationships with other people so that they feel free and safe to show us their own broken pieces. This is where healing can come from, for those around us as well as for ourselves.
Realising that we all are broken and bruised is like a bandage over our own wound. We are called to see Jesus in those we meet every day. From this perspective, we can put ourselves in the shoes of St Thomas - seeing and touching their wounds, experiencing healing in our own hearts, and also being an instrument of healing for those around us. This is a beautiful mystery.
LOVE THAT TOUCHES AND HEALS
For sure, all of this is easier said than done. Yet I believe that the first step is to be present. To be present is to be a present and that present is to love. Because at the end of the day it is love that heals best. I encourage each one of you today (but firstly myself), to be willing to choose love every day. To choose to be present with Jesus and with others. I know being present with Jesus heals my own heart and being present with my dearest loved ones has the power to heal their hearts also. I encourage you to choose love each day anew so that we can praise God together as St. Thomas did, in awe saying: “My Lord and my God!”