How to cultivate self-awareness?
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
How many times have you dismissed someone and to make yourself feel better labeled them “not self-aware”? Most of us think we are quite self-aware and it's not necessarily true. We are not always going to be totally self-aware but there may be avoidable obstacles we can identify through cultivating self-awareness. We are living in an era that is very fast-paced. Some days it can feel very hard to make time for ourselves. We are contacted regularly, distracted by social media, videos, or binge-watching a series. Sometimes we need to reconfigure our minds from a fixed state of mind and try to increase our compassion and kindness. Doing things for others, listening to others, or just being comfortable in silence and reflection time can break the cycle and create a new perspective.
Stuck in a rut
A while ago my friend told me that she was feeling stuck in a rut and that her days were consisting of working, scrolling and binge-watching series. She was in a “bad place” in her head and felt that she was avoiding anything “hard” in her life. After a while it was clear that she had not dealt with an experience properly and came out of it with a very negative perspective. She was saying things like “I won’t ever let myself be that vulnerable again” …“I won’t be helping people out for nothing for a while” …“Everyone is just using me.” She also mentioned that her mentor had remarked that she was having fixed mindset responses which was very unusual for her.
When something happens to us, it can change and shape our perspective going forward and it can be hard to re-adjust back into a routine. Part of this process is cultivating self-awareness in our daily lives. Focusing on yourself and identifying your beliefs, needs, and challenges can help you manage emotions, feel empowered, and be intentional in your personal journey.
When you look at yourself and are able to recognise and connect emotions, core beliefs, thoughts, and traits (including weaknesses and strengths) you’re practicing self-awareness. Self-consciousness can be an aspect of self-awareness. When you focus and identify elements of your internal self, beliefs, values, purpose, or emotions, you become self-conscious. On the other hand, self-knowledge is the result of practicing self-awareness. Your sense of self starts to develop in early childhood, as you realise that you’re separate from your environment- a unique being. As you grow older, that sense of self tends to include an internal awareness of what makes you “you”- your likes and dislikes, values, passions, and purpose. And, although you may think you’re fully aware of who you are, this may not always be the case. Self-awareness allows us to shift perspective, to see both hard realities and possibilities. People who are more self-aware are also more self-accepting. Practicing self-awareness and mindfulness improves self-acceptance, self-confidence, proactivity, and stress related to social interactions.
Examples of self-awareness
Being able to focus on something positive when in a negative situation
Being able to recognise a bad habit and the effect it can have on you
Learning about your emotional triggers, so you can better deal with negative emotions like anger or hate
Benefits of self-awareness
Being able to deal better with external factors that cannot be controlled
Anticipate how certain events will influence your state of mind
Better understand the emotions of the people around you
It can have a positive influence on the state of mind of people around you
Practicing self-awareness
Be curious about who you are
Let your walls down- try to let go of judgment and the instinctual urge to protect yourself
Keep a journal and note what triggers positive feelings
Substitute some screen time with people time
Ask others you trust how they see you
When you’re angry at someone, take the ‘third-person’ perspective
Actively look for and analyse opinions that are not necessarily yours