The choice to guard my heart
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Story Time
I had a friend (in a sich with a boyfriend) who confided in me one day because she was having a crisis of faith. You know, finding everything just really hard. Hard to do, hard to remember, hard to not ‘fall’, hard to get back up again, hard on herself… the list goes on. Of course, in this moment of her telling, I could completely relate. Like BIG TIME. Yes, this is my life too. I wanted to tell her that, but I don’t think she wanted to hear about me, so she kept going. “I am having a great time with this guy, we really like each other”, which ok, I was glad to hear this. “The thing is that I can’t really say no in the heat of the moment when I’m with him. I just let myself go, and live in the moment, and then afterwards it doesn’t feel right and for the next few days I really hate myself, I just can’t do it all, everything, all the rules. I hate them!”
Woah…
I was nodding away but inside I knew where she was, I had been there, we have all been there. Situations that are tricky and feel good, if we didn’t put God first in our lives then we wouldn’t feel bad at all. We know this. I mean, if God isn’t real, what’s the point? Right?
I didn’t have much to say to her at that moment and I left her contemplating on her story, on my story, on our story- no matter what the context of the story is, we’ve all experienced this concept “crisis of faith.” What sprang to mind was St. Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians:
“God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.” — 1 Corinthians 10:13
God never gives us what we can’t handle, and when he does, well… what does he expect?
Social Media, Influencers and Music
Ok we all know the basics, if you don’t like what you are seeing, don’t follow. Great advice. Take on the “way out” before you arrive at your doomed destination. However, because of these people/influencers and momentary cultures that arise literally daily, my own friends are now providing me with that content. They’re all doing it. So what now, do I just unfollow them? Is that really the right thing to do? Well, I know them so it doesn’t really affect me… sound familiar? We are in an era where sex sells, it’s selling fast, and it’s getting bigger everyday. There is a whole sex industry out there that we are a part of everytime we open that website, we click on that ad, we follow that influencer, we read that article… I mean, the list is endless… It's a pretty big industry. I know as a teacher myself that kids are getting access to this industry very easily, and especially through social media. There is a section of the sex industry out there that solely makes its money off of providing, and later selling, pornogrpahic content to 11-year-old kids, getting them addicted early and for free… and all these kids set out to do was watch a movie online with their friends. Going from childhood to trauma in 0.5 seconds. I’ve noticed walking through school corridors the music kids listen to with explicit content about women, men, drugs, alcohol, objectivity, subjectivity, racial differences, violence, vulgarity and anger. Kids from hard homes listening to this to cool off… sharing the wealth and creating hard homes for ones that had once escaped it. Now, I can’t lie,explicit content aside, this music can definitely help you to de-stress!
How often do you actually listen to the words and think about what they mean to you and/or what role they play in your life? I definitely don’t do this enough.
Books, Movies and the “Netflix and Chill” Culture
Firstly, let’s address this “Netflix and chill” culture that is taking over the on-screen world at the minute and has been for a while now. As one of the younger generations today, we can be pretty fast at making a moment an actual culture which is pretty bizarre. The whole concept of “Netflix and chill” is completely sexual where you start off watching Netflix, as the centre of attention, with your other half and you quickly move on to other acts whilst Netflix ends up third-wheeling in the background. You get what I’m talking about. Presumably, the Netflix movie or series being “watched” isn’t exactly Disney, and sets the atmosphere for the evening ahead… and that is it ladies and gentlemen… that is what “Netflix and chill” culture is.
Guarding my heart means I know what I’m getting myself into, I know what could possibly take place. I’ve found it incredibly hard recently to find content on Netflix or even books in the bookshop that are relatively clean and either fantastic cinema or beautifully written. BUT THEY EXIST. It’s just a little further than your normal ease of access and requires that tad bit more effort, but it’s like the birth of a baby when you find them! I’ve linked some websites to help you discern your next read or watch below.
Peer Pressure and Peer Power
Feeling like you belong, part of the pack, is so incredibly normal and we all long for it. But when is it time to talk? Talk about what it means to belong and what I want to belong to. In a survey 25% of people chose things they were not happy with doing because of peer pressure, the other 75% admitted to blaming peer pressure for doing those things. It’s comedic really that we can all relate to this in some way. So if peer pressure is not the main culprit, we could always turn back to trusted peers and seek strength in unity. Most of us are lucky to have friends in our life that have similar beliefs and goals to us. Bouncing these ideas off of a friend can remove the initial growth of a crisis and instead empower a real sense of faith in ourselves and why we do what we do that makes us us!
If you remember my previous question- God never gives us what we can’t handle but when he does, what does he expect? Well, when he does, he gives us a way out. Your way out could be the setting in which you spend time with your other half, opening up that laptop, following someone on instagram, watching a new movie, reading the latest bestselling novel. We are called to be courageous, to be bold in what we do. In these moments we are called to rewrite the script for that moment, a chapter in your life. It could potentially be your path to more and more freedom. Like my friend who is the analogy for all of us, telling me that she just can’t do everything… just because we can’t do everything doesn’t mean we can’t do anything. As Fr Mike Schmitz once said, we don’t need to claim powerlessness when we’re not actually powerless. That’s a cop out. We don’t need to be a victim to weakness when we are not a victim. However, when something is a lot bigger than me, and tests me then this is it... a calling to be willing, willing to say the easy no’s before I get to the harder ones. Willing to be free, and making those decisions with boldness and the grace we have for them.
Links
Common Sense Media
https://www.commonsensemedia.org
Plugged In
https://www.pluggedin.com/
Film Ratings
https://www.filmratings.com
https://m.imdb.com
Good Reads
https://www.goodreads.com/