Communication is key. So is vulnerability.
Often, I find society loves to revolve around gossip and rumours. It’s what keeps us attending coffee shops and afternoon teas at Deborah’s. It needs a little drama in its life to remain the hot topic. But one thing drama lacks:
Truth
Truth allows us to be open, with ourselves and others, which is why honesty is important. But this is not always the case. Honesty cannot work without transparency. Honesty displays a copy of yourself. Transparency provides the fine print of said copy. It shows us a different window into who and how we are. More and more, we need to focus our attention on the fine print. When these two come together, it holds a space for us to be vulnerable.
A necessary struggle
Vulnerability can pose a difficulty in our lives. Perhaps it is the accountability or confrontational aspect we fear. But it is crucial to further our self-reflection. We cannot commit to our ‘truths’ if we don’t delve deeper. The answers don’t lie with external factors such as work, friends, family. It’s got to start with you.
The incision is small but deep
Vulnerability can expose unearthed pain. It may hurt us so much that we avoid it for another date. However, this only delays the avalanche of consequences we deal with. Pain is just as agonising on the surface as it is at the root. The only way to ease both is to tackle it head-on, at your tempo. A little drop at a time. The smaller these ripple effects are, the greater our vulnerable river runs.
Easier said than done
Unfortunately, it isn’t an easy ride, The heat of the moment calls on the ugliest part of us. Pain can revel in our angst and fester pessimism. Leaving it to unravel doesn’t lead to good results. It may prevent us from trying to be vulnerable again. I guess the struggle is due to having to centre ourselves; to be the one to give us a ‘talking-to’. If you’re like me, tough love isn’t always the answer. You shut down and refuse advice. It is something that must happen in stride. And maybe then, does it get easier to deal with. The pain. The honesty. The reflection.
Love doesn’t get old. It ages.
I’ve found healing from being transparent with myself. Its succession is evident in how I choose to manoeuvre through life. It is possible love plays a vital role in this healing. The greatest of loves come from unexpected places. A stranger you meet at a bus stop. A friend made at a houseparty. Perhaps healing from a trauma. It doesn’t always appear romantic or platonic. It can come from within. That, to me, is the best.
To centre myself proves a challenge. Be it through vulnerability or another ominous emotion. But I acknowledge it’s better to go through and come out the other end.
Healing is a process where love waits to meet us. It can be awkward because we don’t know how to interact it. Like an orb that follows us everywhere we go. How we love ourselves will not remain the same. From our teens to adulthood to old age. Love reshapes itself to serve us. It can appear ugly sometimes and we may not recognise it. But once over the hurdle, the horizon is endless.
As beings we love. It is the truest form of being human. As is pain. Only when we encounter both, does healing benefit both orbs.