Beyond goals, have a purpose

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

I came across this letter published in 1958 by Hunter S. Thompson. A 22 years old who wrote this letter to his friend Hume Logan in response to a request for life advice.

Link to this letter - Hunter S. Thompson's Letter on Finding Your Purpose and Living a Meaningful Life - Farnam Street (fs.blog)

You need to read it! It’s really good.

It reminded me also of something Simon Sinek talked about in this interview with Steven Bartlett. It’s a short clip (15 min) if you want to have a listen - it’s worth it! - Link

Striving beyond goals

So much our upbringing and culture is based around achievements and goal-setting. Technology has driven this to greater standards with apps that can track everything for you: your health, your wealth, your relationships, your well-being. It’s a very attractive way of living because it drives you to constantly want to be better with every dopamine you get when you achieve each milestone.

However there is a clinch in this system and that is our relationship with reality. Because what are we really striving for in all this? What are we hoping to achieve?

There are a number of cases of Olympians suffering from depression after achieving Olympic gold (Michael Phelps being one of them). The goal was achieved but unfortunately, they were left with an overwhelming emptiness afterwards. Goals are great - don’t get me wrong - but they are finite and we are not finite, and that is why goals never really fulfil us. We need to be striving for something greater than simply goals.

Thompson said in his letter:

As I said, to put our faith in tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors. We strive to be ourselves.

But don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that we can’t be firemen, bankers, or doctors— but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal.

Striving to be better for others

In Simon Sinek’s interview, he said something really compelling. He said:

I’m not a huge fan of the term self-improvement, but I do like the idea of awareness. … The awareness of blind-spots and the awareness of the skills that I need to be a better brother, son, boyfriend, friend. I had to learn how to hold space for someone and then practise. That’s awareness.

I think it’s a responsibility for every human being, should they want to have value in the lives of others to seek awareness in how they show up in the world and how the world impacts them, their mental health, their physical health, their ability to maintain relationships and nurse relationships.

You hear me say this over again. It’s sort of a repeating pattern which is for those who want to show up better in the lives of others, which I see health as a service to others, which I see a better listener as a service to others …. I see everything as a service to others. There are benefits to you, of course, but I think we have neglected for decades the socialness of our animal.

This is so important for us because if we strive only for a goal or for self-improvement alone, we will lose meaning and purpose to our lives. We are made for greater things. As Hunter S. Thompson so rightly put it:

Beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living within that way of life.

Conclusion

We all need to find our path in life. Be authentically ourselves, so to speak. The question that can be helpful to give us a steer to greater awareness is: how do you want to live? What kind of life do you want to lead?

Because no matter where you are or what you doing, we need to decide how we want to show up in those moments.