10 steps to self-mastery
Now I know what you’re thinking… “yay, how to control myself!”... well, yes and no. Self-mastery is not just about self-control although that is a factor. It is the ability to recognise, understand and make the most out of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self.
It’s gained through awareness and understanding of your thoughts, emotions, and actions. It also requires having a vision for your future self, and harnessing the will to realise that vision. We learn to master ourselves by getting out of our own way. We strip away what we are not, to realise who we really are, actualising our potential in the process.
However, self-mastery also requires patience, truthfulness and faith. The patience to accept what is and to know when to allow things to unfold in their own time. To be true not only in your words and actions but to be honest with yourself. To be wholesome in your lifestyle through a healthy diet, regular exercise, and good sleep. To be the best you can in all you do, with humility and respect. To have confidence in the path you have chosen, faith in your mentors and faith in your ability to be masterful.
It’s a commitment to never-ending improvement; it’s a process of becoming. It’s based on the realisation that there are parts of us that will always try to hold us back. Someone committed to this path of self-mastery is willing to find ways to transcend their fear and break through their resistance.
Personal mastery implies that one possesses the self-awareness necessary to identify the source of one’s resistance and the creativity to find ways beyond it.
Self mastery isn’t about controlling yourself or dominating those fearful, aggressive, and nasty parts within us. It’s about getting to know these parts, but then developing them. In resolving these inner tensions, you can find wholeness and allow the natural process of development to take hold.
We all have an intrinsic motivation toward growth. Sometimes, we give ourselves excuses to forego our developmental path. We say things like:
“I don’t have time.”
“I’m too tired.”
“I’m just not sure what I want.”
10 Steps to Self Mastery -
1) Accept Your Resistance
You have to accept that you have a resistance to change. We are good at beating ourselves up when we see that we’re standing in our own way. Shame and guilt delay our progress because when we feel bad, we tend to reinforce bad habits. Self-acceptance allows us to see that resistance without judging or criticising ourselves.
2) Create a Compelling Vision
Creating a clear vision will help you in the areas that you’re seeking growth. Without vision, your efforts will be aimless and tend to meander. Make the vision something you want to move toward, something that inspires you, and not something you just think you should move toward.
3) Commit to Long-Term Practice
This change won’t just happen. It requires consistent practice which will get easier over time once you start. Our brains are like a muscle, but as we age, it takes longer and longer to make lasting changes. Repetition through daily practice yields results.
4) Expect Backsliding
We will backslide on the path to growth and self-mastery. If you know and accept this, you’ll be less discouraged when you see it in yourself. Self-kindness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion will serve your efforts; getting down on yourself will halt your progress.
5) Live by the Principle of Moderation
When we start on this path of growth, or any path, it’s exciting and we’re motivated. In these moments of excitement, we often push things too hard and can lose the enthusiasm just as fast. Rather than operating at 100% all the time and putting that pressure on ourselves, operating at 70% helps you stay relaxed and engaged while avoiding injury. You can apply this in many areas of your growth journey.
6) Lighten Up
If you take yourself (or the process of growth) too seriously, you’ll invariably derail your efforts.
Your inner animal, or the primitive parts of your brain, will eventually revolt against you, sabotaging your efforts. So take a light-hearted approach. Be willing to laugh at yourself. Be playful and find ways to make your practice something you enjoy doing, while still accepting the fact that it will bring discomfort at times.
7) Set Mini Goals
Mini goals can help you measure your progress. Your attention shouldn’t be on just achieving these aims; setting mini goals can help you stay engaged in your practice.
8) Cultivate Physical Energy
You need a good bit of physical energy to help manage stress, overcome resistance, and follow-through. Our willpower has a kind of fuel tank. It gets depleted when our energy supply runs low. If you commit to daily practice in the morning, you’ll be more likely to follow through because you have more energy after a good night’s rest. After a long day of work, our egos get depleted of their mental energy. Practice becomes more difficult. Conscious effort in cultivating physical energy through proper diet, sleep, exercise, posture, breathing, and stretching helps in this growth.
9) Be Honest
Self-assessment is essential for anyone pursuing self-mastery. It’s easy to fall prey to ego inflation (seeing ourselves as bigger than we are) and ego deflations (seeing ourselves as less than we are). Self-honesty and integrity free up all the energy our egos expend keeping up our house of lies. Start by honing in on your true feelings. Try keeping a journal where you can express your hopes, dreams, fears, and other emotions.
10) Establish Empowering Rituals
All great athletes have rituals for getting into a peak state to perform at their best. Establishing rituals that you perform at the beginning of your practice sessions can be helpful. Developing a daily practice is perhaps the most powerful ritual in itself.
If you’re interested in pursuing this topic further for yourself here are some books:
Mastery by George Leonard
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck
Peak by Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool
The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle
The Little Book of Talent by Daniel Coyle
The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal